quieting things(in progress)
-- trickstersGhost [TG] began pestering antagonizedMismanager [AM] at 11: 56 --
TG: so it occurred to me last night, while i was watching my mate being an ass,
TG: that this was questionable.
AM: YES, I KNOW.
AM: WHAT WAS QUESTIONABLE.
AM: THAT 'HM' WAS KIND OF A 'PLEASE EXPAND UPON THAT' OR A 'PLEASE CONTINUE'.
TG: i know it was tmi tuesday, and if you were anyone else, or rather, of a different temperment, it would have been ok public fare.
AM: I DON'T MIND QUESTIONS MUCH, BUT IT MADE DAVE UNCOMFORTABLE TO HAVE THAT KIND OF INFORMATION IN A PUBLIC PLACE.
TG: i'm confused. he was online, hadn't he seen you ask for tmi questions?
TG: nevermind, unimportant.
AM: I DID SO SEVERAL HOURS BEFORE I GOT HIS ASK, ACTUALLY. HE MAY NOT HAVE NOTICED THAT.
TG: i'd discuss that with him then.
TG: i am concerned as
AM: LOOKING AT THE TIMESTAMPS, 6:14 FOR THE REBLOG, 11:28 FOR THE FIRST ASK.
TG: i'd like to address something if i may.
TG: his threat against my mate and entering my home uninvited.
TG: as we don't go where we're unwelcome, i'd appreciate the same respect.
TG: further: i'd like the implied threats against my person to cease.
TG: implied, blatant, public or otherwise.
AM: THERE WERE THREATS?
TG: if you know it, i would check his journal.
TG: i believe my tongue was involved, and pissing on my mate in my home was made in public.
TG: this is me formally seeking truce.
TG: i will control my end if the same is done on yours.
AM: I'M NOT GOING TO TELL HIM TO STOP VENTING ON HIS JOURNAL, BUT I HAVE ASKED HIM TO JUST BACK OFF AND IGNORE YOU AND YOURS.
AM: I'LL GIVE HIM A REMINDER, THOUGH.
TG: did you know i was asked to stop speaking of you and yours in my vent?
AM: NO, I DIDN'T.
TG: that is indeed the case.
TG: i was told to leave the lot of you alone.
TG: i have.
AM: WHO ASKED YOU TO?
TG: a source that will remain anonymous for all of our sakes.
TG: i don't want more drama, karkat.
TG: i want peace.
AM: I DON'T EITHER.
AM: I'LL TALK TO DAVE.
TG: i'm moving forward with my life. i'm starting a business. i'm working quite a number of jobs.
TG: one of my best friends is in the hospital. two others are so frazzled they can't think straight.
AM: THANK YOU FOR COMING TO ME ABOUT IT AND TALKING THINGS OVER.
TG: you're welcome.
TG: thank you for being reasonable.
TG: i'm trying to be the last sane thread on my end.
TG: i'm doing a lot and i'm really tired.
TG: i just want to be able to relax in my own home without the threat of someone entering uninvited to do harm of any sort against me and mine.
TG: this is my sanctuary.
AM: LET ME KNOW IF I CAN DO ANYTHING TO HELP.
TG: all i can ask right now is that you keep dave away from us.
TG: all of us.
TG: from sparks to starling and everyone attached to them.
TG: the talk of kitty, the talk of sparks, the bitching at star.
TG: i'll do my part to keep mine out of the fray but i'm wearing thin, karkat.
AM: I'LL TALK TO HIM.
TG: thank you.
TG: i'll just
TG: let you know when things crop up.
AM: I'M REALLY SORRY FOR THIS.
TG: it's not your fault dave is dave.
TG: if there was a party to blame they'd have been handled by now i'm sure.
TG: he's trying.
TG: he's trying to be a good club.
TG: he actually said that i should talk to you.
TG: i can't handle your... whatever he is to you.
TG: i just can't.
TG: he insulted my mate. he threatened our home. he badmouthed a person who went into the hospital.
TG: and then all of you
TG: speaking ill of sparks.
TG: i wouldn't be around if it weren't for sparks. i wouldn't be sane. i'd still be trapped in loops of death and pain.
AM: BOYFRIEND. AND...I DON'T RECALL HAVING SAID ANYTHING ABOUT HIM IN A WHILE.
TG: people have.
TG: i'm so tired. i'm tired of all of this.
AM: I CAN TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT. AND I'M TIRED TOO.
TG: i've never had peace in my life and i'm getting a taste of it now and
TG: it's such a wonderful thing.
AM: I HOPE IT LASTS FOR YOU.
TG: thank you.
TG: i hope it spreads to my friends.
TG: i can't help them. i can't help sparks or pal or kitty.
TG: this is all i can do.
TG: calming things with you and yours it's all i can do for them
AM: I REALIZE THAT THERE'S A LOT OF ANIMOSITY BETWEEN THE LOT OF US, BUT I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT I DON'T HOLD ANYTHING AGAINST ANY OF YOU. I'D RATHER EVERYBODY DROP IT AND WALK AWAY.
TG: i would hope that to be the case.
TG: that's all any of us wants.
TG: let's just
TG: make this all go away.
TG: i just want to be friends with you again.
john and aradia talk history, abandoned towns,...
-- captorMari [CM] began pestering apocalypseAugury [AA] at 16: 51 --
CM: did i tell you i changed my screen name?
AA: you did 0u0
AA: i have you added and everything!
CM: oh good. i didn't want to leave you out by accident!
AA: yeah you got me dont worry!
AA: also im not sure if youre the same as other johns but in case you are happy wriggling day 0u0
CM: yeah, we're mostly all 'born' on april 13th. and thanks!
AA: youre welcome!
CM: my mate and i went to the emp sfm today. :)
AA: the what...
CM: experience music project and science fiction museums.
CM: they're right next door to each other.
AA: oh that sounds like fun!
AA: im glad you got to have fun on your wriggling day 0u0
CM: i'm going to take him to the bill and melinda gates foundation interactive museum for his.
AA: that sounds like a really great time!
CM: i hope so!
CM: he doesn't leave home very often, but today was special.
AA: of course it was special! its your wriggling day silly
CM: it's also the anniversary of the day i died.
AA: equally special!
CM: it depends on your perspective.
AA: its very rare that you can celebrate the day you entered life and the day you left it at the same time!
CM: hah hah
CM: i'm plotting our trip to japan!
AA: oh really?
CM: there's a place i wish we could go. i think you and i might be able to without getting sick but i don't know!
CM: it's called battleship island, or hashima island, sometimes the abandoned island.
CM: it's isolated and has this big wall around the city, uninhabited.
AA: why is it isolated?
CM: it was a mining island from 1887 to 1974. it was closed down for some reason. it's open to visitors as of 2009, and they're kind of worried about buildings collapsing now?
AA: collapsing buildings would kind of hurt tourism
CM: but it's really interesting. people just walked away after the mines were closed down. i suspect the abandonment has something to do with fresh water and food supplies being difficult to import or create there.
CM: people left a bunch of stuff behind. it's like a record of japan in 1974.
CM: and while we're on the subject of ghost towns there's a city in china that's really interesting too!
AA: its weird that people just walked away from their lives like that
AA: oh really?
CM: there's one that's bult so it's one giant building, another that was built to house a million people that was abandoned, there's also one that was partially destroyed in the explosion of a neuclear reactor, can't go to that one.
AA: but that last one sounds cool
CM: but it could kill us. :(
AA: thats truuue :C
CM: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kowloon_Walled_City this one was taken down but would be SO COOL to explore. :(
AA: thatd be really cool! D:
CM: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_Linzi this one you might find neat!
CM: http://edition.cnn.com/2013/03/03/business/china-worlds-largest-mall also ghost town mall. how cool is that?
AA: the term ghost town is misleading because rarely are there ghosts
AA: but beside that these sound like fun places to explore!
CM: we need to go to a some of these abandoned towns with a bunch of friends! it would be really cool. i mean what if we find one with real ghosts!
AA: that would be cool!
AA: especially if i could talk to them 0u0
CM: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bokor_Hill_Station here's one in cambodia!
AA: that one looks cool too wow
CM: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kuroshima_and_Taijima let's go here too!
AA: yes lets go there!
CM: http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e7940.html not abandoned but temples are cool ok?
CM: OH we have to HAVE TO go to the cherry blossom festival in fukushima or sendai!
AA: i dont know what that is but okay!
CM: it's a festibal to celebrate spring in japan!
CM: death and rebirth it's really neat!
AA: sounds like my kind of festival!
CM: i'm going to find you a yukata! :D
CM: i don't have one anymore so i should look one up.
AA: okay i googled yukata so you dont have to explain that to me!
AA: theyre really cute 0u0
CM: they are!
CM: i'll find us a troll friendly timeline and we can go from there!
AA: oh yay!
AA: youre the best john aah
CM: hah hah thanks!
CM: i did find one for absylphe if she wants to come along!
AA: ill ask her if shed like to take a little vacation and tag along!
AA: at the very least to the festival
CM: http://www.kimono-yukata-market.com/catalogue/pic/yukata/d/051/image203.jpg what do you think of this one?
AA: those are both really pretty wow!
CM: the top one is for sylph, and i was thinking the bottom for you.
AA: i thought as much!
AA: i think shell like the top one
AA: ill show her when shes on trollian!
CM: starling is harder to pick for because i never know if i'll find red and blue.
AA: oh yeah solluxs are hard that way
CM: i didn't find red and blue but i found a yukata with a star burst pattern on it!
AA: i think thatll work too! 0u0
CM: mine is harder still.
AA: why is yours harder?
CM: because i don't know if i want a feminine yukata or a masculine one.
AA: :O theres a difference?
CM: mostly where the obi goes, yeah.
CM: female obi are higher up and fold differently at the back. masculine ones sit lower around the hips and aren't as fancy. the way the yukata fits is slightly different, too.
AA: i dont want to make you pick or anything but id defintely go for the fancier one
AA: the female
CM: http://www.kimono-yukata-market.com/catalogue/pic/yukata/10/065/index.html rabbits!
CM: so this is how a female yukata looks from the front: http://www.kimono-yukata-market.com/catalogue/pic/yukata/d/046/image30.jpg and from the back: http://www.kimono-yukata-market.com/catalogue/pic/yukata/d/046/image28.jpg
CM: http://www.kimono-yukata-market.com/catalogue/men/image9.jpg and this is the front of a male one.
CM: http://www.kimono-yukata-market.com/yukata-male-2-l/sakura-model/04/image102.jpg and the back.
AA: i definitely cast my vote for the female one
CM: female it is!
AA: aah youll look so pretty!
CM: UuU thank you.
AA: heheh youre welcome!
CM: ah this'll be fun. festivals are great.
AA: ive never been to one but i trust what you say!
CM: my dad's grandma used to take me to japanese festivals. they're great.
CM: i think the festivals theemselves are in america, though. i'm checking on it.
AA: alright 0u0
AA: sorry i definitely thought i said something
CM: ah, in japan it's mostly a picnic sort of thing!
CM: let's go to the one here, then, because there's more going on.
AA: sounds like fun!
CM: preformance art, music, food.
AA: oh yeah that definitely sounds fun!
CM: it doesn't start until the twenty sixth and goes on through the twenty eighth.
AA: i cant wait!
CM: oh, here, look at this: http://moonwaltz.sakura.ne.jp/k04/k-04.jpg
CM: red isn't traditionally worn until later in the year but your yukata is going to have red in it, and so is the obi, so pink would just be silly.
AA: oh thats lovely!
CM: http://moonwaltz.sakura.ne.jp/kk/k45/k45.jpg and this to go with kanayas!
AA: everything about this festival is gorgeous wow
CM: this one will go well with the rabbit one for me: http://moonwaltz.sakura.ne.jp/a-04/kikyo-kanzashi.jpg
CM: i'm really excited for this festival can you tell?
AA: i can definitely tell!
AA: and im really excited too
CM: the hair pieces are supposed to represent good luck.
CM: in america it's a celebration to commemorate japan giving america japanese cherry blossom trees to represent a newly formed close tie between the two countries. in japan the cherry blossom itself is supposed to represent life, the beauty of it, it's beginning and end, and the appreciation of how short lived it is.
AA: both actually sound like something great you should celebrate
CM: a few years before japan gave the trees to america, they were on opposing sides of a world war.
AA: on my version of alternia we have big celebrations for when a new planet is conquered and every aniversary but somehow its just not quite the same as this
CM: before that, america helped in japans modernization.
AA: oh really?
CM: the sad part of this is that america helped in the destruction of an ancient warrior class.
CM: there's also a movie about it based on a legend: an american soldier that came over to train japanese troups but decided to become a part of this samurai class because the people were noble.
CM: it's funny, i paid attention to japanese history when i was a kid, not as much attention as i did to movies but wow japan was interesting to me.
CM: i didn't start picking up on the language until recently.
AA: it sounds like a fascinating place!
CM: oh gosh it is. it was a feudal state until around 1800 something?
CM: there was(is) an emporer, as well as i believe they were called shogun, who controlled territory and nobel soldiers called samurai.
AA: oh cool
CM: the emporer in modern times is a figure head, while the government itself is run by a prim minister and several ministries and councils.
AA: no nevermind
AA: no nothing!
AA: so the emperor doesnt really do anything in modern times?
CM: he appears in public at festivals, and events, but he's not really involved in the government anymore.
CM: the queen of england has more power than he does.
AA: fascinating :O
CM: i really recommend seeing a movie called 'the last samurai', though. tom cruise is in it but it's really not a bad film.
CM: it gives you a relatively decent view of the culture at the time.
AA: ill be sure to check it out when my husktop is feeling more cooperative!
AA: thank you by the way
AA: sharing all this with me
CM: it's sad though because you really get a sense of how young and impressionable the emporer was when modernization began.
CM: oh gosh you're welcome. :)
CM: i don't generally act like it but i like history and science, so any chance i get to gush is welcomed.
AA: thats the problem with inheriting the throne isnt it? you might come to power before youre ready
AA: that problem isnt really present on alternia but we have..different issues that im sure youre aware of
AA: oh but i love hearing people gush about their cultures!
AA: gush to me
AA: whenever you want to!
CM: yeah. it's the problem with inheriting anything though.
CM: i'd like to hear about your alternia though!
CM: i've heard so much about a few other versions.
AA: gosh i dont even know where to begin!
AA: i imagine things are much the same on mine as many others however my alternia still believes very heavily in the hemospectrum
AA: like heavily heavily heavily
CM: i hear about that a lot.
AA: which is really terrible and i want to leave so bad but sollux doesnt like earth so...
CM: why doesn't he like earth?
AA: i dont know he has weird hangups about humans
CM: a lot of people do.
AA: and hes just really dumb basically
CM: sounds like people i used to know.
AA: i guess i could live in his timeline but all his hives are way too big for my liking
AA: and there are guards like
AA: everywhere he goes pbbtht
CM: oh, your sollux is one of the tyrian ones yeah?
AA: im still mostly a secret to his timeline? at least to anyone official
CM: that's kind of sad. :(
AA: no thats my decision
AA: hell get a lot of shit for having someone as low on the hemospectrum as me in any quadrant so
AA: its just best for him
CM: it's still sad.
AA: i guess? i dont really care all that much to be honest!
AA: and anyways if they dont know about me i can mess with his guards ;P
CM: hah hah that's awesome!
AA: theyre not the brightest so its fun!
CM: let me know if you ever need pranking tips!
AA: before i mess with his guards next time ill definitely ask you!
CM: awesome! :)
AA: 0u0 youre great john
CM: thank you!
-- trickstersGhost [TG] began pestering caligulasAdmiral [CA] at 15: 48 --
TG: i was wondering if
TG: you got the message i sent last night?
CA: oh uh
CA: yeah i did
TG: so um... i had
TG: a question
TG: and i'm not entirely sure how to phrase it.
CA: is this about quadrants
TG: yes. sort of.
CA: sort of
TG: was wondering... if it would be possible to
TG: i mean this is probably very forward and i mean you don't have to say anything but i
TG: wanted to say that i think you're great and i
TG: i sent the first pale anon last night.
CA: yeah i knoww
TG: how... did you know that?
CA: i knoww howw you type
TG: hah hah awkward. um... i... thoughts??
CA: tob i just got my fuckin bloodpump damaged twwo nights ago im still reelin from that
CA: i cant fuckin start somethin wwhile im still hurtin from someone else
TG: alright. i can understand that.
CA: it wwould be so fuckin easy to try l eadin you on because im fuckin lonely as shit
CA: but ivve done that once before an it wwont fuckin wwork out
CA: unless you count evverythin goin up in literal flames as wworkin out
TG: yeah that's not 'working out' that i know of.
CA: yeah fuckin exactly
CA: im not six im not goin to do that again
TG: it's alright.
TG: just... know that it's there. i'm there for you. i mean.
CA: im just
CA: goin to go
TG: alright. have a good evening.
CA: you too
-- caligulasAdmiral [CA] ceased pestering trickstersGhost [TG] at 16: 00 --
-- trickstersGhost [TG] began pestering calodemonGelastic [CG] at 22: 55 --
TG: #WELL DOESN'T THIS SOUND FAMILIAR. I:B
CG: OH YEAH, YOU TOO.
TG: i spent the afternoon talking to dave. idek anymore.
CG: YOU POOR THING.
CG: YOU SHOULD HAVE FAKED ANEURISM.
TG: he gets pissed because i didn't talk to him about my issues with him directly, so i talk to him about my issues with him directly, and he gets infuriatingly dancy around the subject. :/
CG: HE JUST WANTS PEOPLE WORSHIPING HIM 24/7 NO MATTER WHAT LIFE-SHATTERING BULLSHIT HE PULLS, NBD.
TG: he can suck my dick.
TG: i'm done worshipping.
CG: THEY ACTED LIKE EVERYTHING THEY DID WAS JUSTIFIED WHEN I STOPPED TAKING THEIR SHIT. /:B
CG: MORESO,, ANYWAY.
TG: that's bullshit.
CG: WELL I KNOW THAT NOW.
CG: THEY GET IN YOUR HEAD, MAKE YOU BELIEVE IT.
CG: HOW ABUSE WORKS DUDE.
TG: i'm tired of it. i'm tired of being treated like crap.
CG: THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO BUT CUT THEM OUT AND LEAVE THEM TO BE ASSHOLES TOGETHER.
TG: i would feel like shit for being that guy.
CG: ANYBODY HALFWAY DECENT WOULD.
TG: feel like shit?
CG: THEN AGAIN, ANYONE HALFWAY DECENT WOULDN'T *DO* ANY OF THIS SHIT.
CG: I LOVE FREAKING PEOPLE OUT.
TG: poor sollux. why is he freaked out by your bulge?
CG: I ACTUALLY DON'T KNOW? IT'S NOT LIKE I'M THREATENING HIM WITH IT.
TG: maybe he's just afraid of them?
CG: ... WELL NOW I JUST FEEL BAD.
TG: sorry?? you could ask him in private?
CG: YEAH I WILL.
CG: NAH, HE JUST DOESN'T WANT TO SEE MINE.
TG: oh. well that's a little better?
CG: AND NOW HE'S LAUGHING AT ME. >:C
TG: oh gosh. sorry! D:
TG: did he call you that?
TG: ... but you are though.
CG: I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
TG: you've been nice to me.
CG: NOT REALLY.
TG: lately you have.
CG: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOT REALLY.
TG: well it's looked that way to me?
TG: ... care to share?
CG: I'M NOT NICE.
TG: maybe not in general but i think listening and talking and helping someone when you don't need to is really nice so...
TG: why no?
CG: BECAUSE I'M NOT NICE. I'M A HYPOCRITICAL ASSHOLE WITH A BAD TEMPER.
TG: well so am i but you talk to me and you help me understand things and that's big to me.
CG: YOU'RE WRONG.
TG: i don't understand why you think that.
CG: YOU HAVEN'T HAD TO PUT UP WITH ME YOUR WHOLE LIFE.
TG: i haven't had a whole life yet.
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
TG: i know
TG: i'm being a pain in the ass.
CG: FUN WITH THAT?
TG: hah hah.
TG: no but
TG: i really like you. you're a good friend.
CG: DYING WHALE NOISES
TG: did i ever thank you for the gifts?
TG: the movies, blankets and cookies?
TG: when marbles and i were courting..
CG: I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER GIVING YOU THOSE SO I'M GONN GIVE YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT AND SAY YES.
TG: you forget a lot of things. >:
TG: that's worrying.
CG: SHRUG. DEPRESSION, MEDS AND TOO MANY BLOWS TO THE HEAD.
CG: MY OWN FAULT.
TG: i'm sure depression isn't your fault.
CG: NO, BUT THE OTHER THINGS.
TG: the meds? i'm sure they're for the depression.
TG: not all the blows are your fault i'm sure. probably way less than half of them.
CG: THEY PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE MADE *THAT* MUCH OF AN AFFECT IF I'D TAKEN THEM PROPERLY. I JUST... STOPPED. THEN STARTED TAKING TOO MANY OF MY NIGHTMARE STUFF. FUCKED IT UP MORE, MY OWN FAULT. AND I PISS PEOPLE OFF A LOT ON PURPOSE SO THEY DO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. ...WELL I USED TO. I HAVE SOLLII NOW.
TG: solli seem intent on caring about other people all around. i like it.
CG: HEH. ME TOO. THEY'RE GREAT.
TG: i think i might be growing a red crush on this sollux i'm staying with right now??
CG: HE'D BE GOOD FOR YOU.
TG: oh gosh
TG: is a problem with this because he has someone already and... i don't want to be THAT guy. i really don't.
CG: WELL I THINK IT'S BEST TO GET THINGS OUT IN THE OPEN SO YOU CAN BOTH WORK AROUND IT RATHER THAN HIM UNKNOWINGLY MAKING IT HARD FOR YOU.
TG: i know.
TG: we're supposed to be going to visit the other guy in the hospital he's in, tomorrow, and
TG: this is all so awkward.
TG: this is a karkat who spurned my cooking because he didn't feel like eating.
CG: THAT'S NO REFLECTION ON YOU, JUST MEANS HE DIDN'T FEEL LIKE EATING.
TG: i know. it still made me feel sad.
TG: not just because he didn't eat what i made specifically for him but because i don't understand how you get to a point where you don't feel like eating for two weeks??
CG: I DO.
TG: and now he's in the hospital because of it.
CG: NEVER BEEN IN HOSPITAL THOUGH.
TG: i have, but never for that.
TG: sollux is really upset by it.
CG: ONLY EVER BEEN ONCE IN MY LIFE. I HAVE A... WEIRD RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD.
CG: IS HE GONNA BE OKAY?
TG: it sounds like it.
CG: OKAY, GOOD.
CG: ROLLS AROUND IN SPADES
CG: HE'S SO FUCKING CUTE.
CG: IT'S INFURIATING.
TG: hah hah so many cute kismesis around me.
CG: BJFISLDKJ WE ARE NOT CUTE. >:C HE KILLS SHARKS AND I'VE DISMEMBERED A DUALSCAR WE ARE *HARDCORE*
TG: comesailawway killed a horror terror. he's still cute.
CG: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
TG: the creepy tentacle things outside the bubbles. you can almost see them if you look up.
TG: fact of the matter is, you guys are cute.
CG: >You totally did not actually look up just then
CG: NO WE ARE NOT.
TG: ...the horror terrors created the dream bubbles.
TG: just as a frame of reference.
TG: yes. yes you are.
CG: WELL THAT WAS NICE OF THEM.
CG: THEY CAN'T BE THAT BAD?
TG: i have no idea. i've never tried to meet one. my limit is denizen.
TG: i have cute, and really bad ass friends.
CG: YOU DO.
TG: yeah. you, sollux, sparks, eridan.
CG: EQUIUS, SOLLUX, SPARKS AND ERIDAN YES.
TG: you as well.
TG: i'm right.
TG: you know it.
TG: do i win?
CG: YOU WENT OFFLINE, YOU SURRENDERED.
TG: i crashed pesterchum.
CG: WOW NICE JOB.
TG: clearly this means i win.
TG: pc was surrenduring to me.
CG: ALRIGHT FINE, YOU WIN THIS TIME.
[07:26] TG: dave. [07:26] TG: http://24.media.tumblr.com/03c3bdd9cc7ea2dc05833cdfddff4e0a/tumblr_mjriqvPKxh1qkr882o1_500.jpg rabbit kisses. [07:26] TG: yeah [07:26] TG: thats the cutest shit ive ever seen [07:27] TG: rabbit kitty kisses are great too. [07:27] TG: nah [07:27] TG: not as cute [07:27] TG: how’s that not as cute? interspecies kisses. [07:28] TG: because its not [07:28]...
TG: hey john
TG: look i made a promise to karkat tha ti would be all up in your grill about shit but this rubs me in all the wrong ways
TG: if you have a problm with me
TG: talk to me about it
TG: not everyfuckingone else
TG: so i get from this that you want me to be downright honest with every problem i've had with you up to now?
TG: you can say them doesnt mean that im going to care about everything
TG: because i really do want to talk to you about a few things... but i don't want to be ragey or anything...
TG: i just thought you would talk shit about me behind my back
TG: i didn't think you'd ask my ex out either.
TG: apparently i was wrong
TG: or ignore when i've been upset.
TG: youre always upset
TG: but go on
TG: about the dan thing. how i thought i could go to you because you lost your best friend once, too.
TG: that i'd be able to talk to you because you'd understand.
TG: understand what
TG: what it's like to lose someone that important.
TG: i dont know what you want from me
TG: i don't even either, anymore.
TG: the only thing thats changed is that i have a clearer mind than before
TG: and i deal with my own problems and worry about others on a need to basis
TG: can i ask you something? and expect an honest answer?
TG: i dont know why you would expect anything else but yeah
TG: why haven't you been completely honest with me? like when you haven't been interested in what i'm saying or the things with kk?
TG: what things with karkat
TG: as far as what youre saying
TG: sometimes its bullshit and i dont want you getting pissed of and threatening me
TG: i dont have time for it
TG: i know you asked him out.
TG: didn't i deserve to know about that?
TG: like, wow, my bro asked my ex out. i'm feeling more than a little betrayed by that. worse that he didn't have the balls to tell me.
TG: you didnt ever ask about how i felt about him
TG: so i assumed you didnt care
TG: or you werent interested in finding out
TG: um, yeah. i did. remember how i was pissed off that he was rolling around on him?
TG: *on you
TG: too busy talking smack to everyone else about me
TG: what if i wasnt interested in him in the same way at the time
TG: remind you
TG: i would have thought that my feelings about it at the time were a sign that i'd want to know about things like that even if he and i aren't together.
TG: what obligation do i have to tell you anyhting about my life when every time we talk it circles back to your problems
TG: because this matters. because it's practically bro code. because when you're interested in your bro's ex it's common courtesy to ask how he feels about it first before you do anything like that.
TG: john bro code really
TG: i already know what you would say so what does it matter
TG: how do you know? you're not a mind reader.
TG: idk karkat and i cuddled and you threatened me bodily harm
TG: because we were together at the time.
TG: because it was a fidelity issue then.
TG: i dont think you can talk to me about fidelity john
TG: how do you figure?
TG: how do you figure, dave?
TG: because im not the one that is in some crooked ass auspiceshit trying to moirail some fucker that essentially ruined my life
TG: i'm not in the auspistism anymore. and by the standards of sparks timeline it's a valid relationship. and how the hell did he ruin your life?
TG: he riuned your life john it went witht he way i was saying
TG: interesting you didnt update me on the relationship status
TG: i would have expected it
TG: karkat said he'd break everything off if it kept up, that it was an abomination by his timeline's standards and if i wanted anything with him in the future it would have to end.
TG: youre telling me
TG: so it ended.
TG: why arent you back together now that karkat is out of the picture
TG: i don't know. i really don't.
TG: something to think about
he can give you the world but he'll never love you...
AM: YES I KNOW.
-- antagonizedMismanager [AM] is now an idle chum! --
TG: ok. i'm going to bed. i shattered a light in here by accident and had to clean it up. good morning.
-- antagonizedMismanager [AM] is now an idle chum! --
with nothing to give you but oh! [IP] part 4
AM: I'VE SAID BEFORE I REALIZE I HAVE PROBLEMS DOING THAT.
TG: then work on those problems before someone else gets hurt.
TG: because NO ONE deserves to go through this. NO ONE.
AM: WHAT IF NOBODY ELSE INHERITS THOSE PROBLEMS.
TG: what the fuck do you mean by that?
AM: WHAT IF I JUST...STOP.
AM: YES, STOP.
TG: stop what?
AM: IF NOBODY ELSE HAS TO WORRY ABOUT THAT, AND I ALREADY GO TO MY ANCESTOR AND HIS MATESPRIT FOR EVERYTHING
AM: WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT IMPLIES
TG: you're talking about that thing no one, not even the goddamned universe at large, is letting me do. give up on it.
AM: QUADRANTS ARE TOO MUCH FUCKING TROUBLE WHILE I'M LEARNING TO SURVIVE ON WHAT I'LL PROBABLY BE CALLING MY ALTERNIA.
AM: AND WHEN DID I SAY NEVER PUT OFF ON THEM ENTIRELY?
AM: I SAID GIVE YOURSELF SOME FUCKING TIME.
AM: THINK SHIT THROUGH BEFORE YOU JUMP INTO IT.
AM: WE KNEW EACH OTHER LESS THAN A HALF A PERIGEE BEFORE WE JUMPED INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP.
TG: read what you just wrote.
AM: HOW LONG DID YOU KNOW DAN?
TG: dan was my dave.
TG: the dave that cried over me while i died.
AM: HOW LONG DID YOU KNOW THAT ERIDAN?
TG: of course you'd find a chance to pick at my weak spot.
AM: I'M NOT TRYING TO BE AN ASSHOLE.
TG: you're certainly suceeding.
AM: I'M TRYING TO ASK WHAT JUMPING INTO SHIT GOT US.
AM: I JUMPED INTO SHIT WITH DAVE AS A KISMESIS.
AM: IT FELL APART FAST.
TG: then you know what?
TG: you don't take quadrants or any form of romantic relationship while you're trying to do what you're trying to do.
TG: there's your answer.
TG: i don't have a choice. i will DIE if i don't step into something fast because i made a choice when i was frail and human that was the best for me at the time.
TG: to keep my promises i have to be rash. you, however, don't.
AM: GOOD LUCK.
AM: AND I HOPE THINGS PAN OUT FOR YOU.
AM: I REALLY DO.
TG: and i you, because pissed as i am
TG: i still love you for whatever inexplicable reason.
TG: i must be a goddamned masochist.
AM: IRRESISTABLE VANTAS CHARM.
TG: maybe more like horrendous dork i shared space with for four months and still managed not to find an excuse to strangle.
AM: I'M TRYING TO CALM DOWN BEFORE I END UP CAUSING LIONS TO PANIC FROM VOODOOS.
AM: SO I APOLOGIZE IF I SAY SOMETHING STUPIDLY INAPPROPRIATE.
AM: IT'S ME TRYING NOT TO INCITE THE DEATH OF EVERY SLEEPING PERSON IN THIS PLACE.
TG: i feel stupid for missing you.
AM: I FEEL STUPID FOR A LOT OF THINGS.
TG: the sollux that wants to save me is boyfriends with your human alternate.
AM: I FEEL BAD FOR THAT POOR FUCKER.
AM: HUMAN MES ARE INSUFFERABLE.
AM: MORESO THAN THE TROLL ONES.
TG: human you didn't eat the food i made for him.
TG: but he's pretty nice otherwise.
TG: he spurned chicken.
TG: and alfredo pasta.
AM: HE'S DEAD TO ME.
AM: DOUBLE DEAD.
AM: IF YOU TELL ME HE REBUFFED TACOS, I WILL POLITELY ASK YOU TO STRANGLE HIM WITH YOUR BULGE FOR ME.
TG: you've seen my bulge. it's not big enough to be capable of that.
AM: YOU'LL FIND A WAY.
AM: PLUG HIS WHIFFER AND JAM IT DOWN HIS THROAT.
TG: the plan is
TG: i'm going to pose as sollux's cousin, so i can get him out of there, using the human-guise program on my pda?
TG: and get him to his karkat so we can all talk about this.
AM: MUCH LUCK.
TG: because apparently i'm one of the only two people in existence that he really gives a shit about.
TG: which is nice because
TG: i've been thinking lately
TG: that the list of people who care about me compared to the list of people i care about is really over balanced.
AM: I'M STILL ON THE LIST OF PEOPLE WHO CARE, EVEN IF I'M A MASSIVE PIECE OF SHIT.
TG: you're just a bitch.
TG: i'm going to beat you with one of my bigger hammers when next we meet and you don't get to complain.
TG: you owe me.
TG: i'm sitting here crying in a public area. you owe me for this.
TG: and for every time you've set dave on me, whether by design or not.
AM: THINK ABOUT ME HAVING TO HAVE ASSISTANCE TO WASH MY HAIR IN THE SPRINGS.
TG: and for the times merc got on my case when you and i had already talked about it.
AM: I LITERALLY NEED SOMEONE TO HELP ME RINSE OFF.
TG: and for when i was in so much pain i literally couldn't see straight and still had to try to remember where the fuck we were and what we were doing.
TG: you're so unprepared for what you're doing.
AM: AND THAT TIME I THREW UP IN OUR RESPITEBLOCK.
AM: AND PASSED OUT IN IT.
TG: and i cleaned it up
TG: and you
TG: and washed the blankets.
AM: YEAH YOU THINK
TG: while i had a hang over.
AM: THAT'S WHY I'M TRYING TO FOCUS ON SHIT HERE.
AM: I WANT TO BE PREPARED.
AM: I WANT TO BE COMPETENT.
TG: don't die over there.
AM: I DON'T WANT TO FREEZE UP OR BE INDECICIVE...
TG: if you die i'll hunt you down and beat the fuck out of you in the bubbles.
AM: I WANT TO MAKE THEM PROUD OF ME.
TG: spoiler alert
TG: they already are.
AM: I'VE NEVER HAD ANYBODY I WANTED APPROVAL FROM LIKE THAT BEFORE.
TG: they wouldn't have brought you over if they weren't.
AM: I'M A FUCKING FAILURE.
TG: i'm not going to shore you up.
TG: because yeah
AM: DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DID?
TG: no what?
TG: aside from fucking with me?
AM: I'M BRINGING IT UP AGAIN BECAUSE SCREW YOU IT'S IMPORTANT.
AM: WHEN SOLLUX AND ERIDAN STARTED FIGHTING ON THE METEOR.
AM: I SAT THERE AND WATCHED.
TG: karkat you were six.
AM: WHEN HE KILLED FEFERI...I WATCHED.
TG: they were a psionic and a magic weilder. what the fuck could you have done being neutral?
AM: WHEN HE BLEW UP THE M...
AM: THE ONLY HOPE FOR OUR RACE.
AM: I JUST WATCHED HIM.
AM: HE BAITED KANAYA INTO ATTACKING HIM.
AM: BY BLOWING IT UP.
AM: HE BLEW IT UP TO MAKE HER DO SOMETHING TO HIM.
AM: AND THEN HE KILLED HER.
TG: you were six, and scared.
AM: AND NOW I'M SEVEN AND SCARED.
TG: and you have something to have learned from don't you?
AM: THAT I FREEZE UP AT THE WORST POSSIBLE TIMES.
TG: so learn not to do that.
TG: or other people will learn you do that
TG: and start taking advantage.
AM: ...I DON'T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING THOUGH.
AM: HE KNOCKED SOLLUX OUT, KILLED FEFERI, BAITED KANAYA INTO ATTACKING HIM SO HE COULD KILL HER...
AM: ...WHY DIDN'T HE GO AFTER ME?
AM: I WAS RIGHT THERE.
TG: probably because you weren't a dick to him and they, in his eyes, were.
AM: SOMETIMES I WONDER IF I COULD'VE PREVENTED ALL OF THAT. DID YOU KNOW THAT?
AM: THAT MAYBE, IF I'D TALKED TO THEM ABOUT THINGS INSTEAD OF JUST SITTING THERE
TG: every karkat i've ever spoken to who's gone through the game has wonderedthe same thing.
AM: OR IF I'D GONE AFTER GAMZEE MYSELF
AM: OR KEPT TAVROS CLOSER
AM: IF THEY WOULDN'T HAVE DIED.
TG: we all have what ifs. learn from them. move the fuck past them.
i'm just a no one[IP] part 3
AM: UP UNTIL A FEW NIGHTS BEFORE YOU ASKED AND I TOLD YOU NO, I WASN'T FEELING IT? I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING ON GOING BACK TO YOU. THE MORE I THOUGHT ON IT, THE MORE I THOUGHT ON HOW I FELT, THE MORE I REALIZED IT WASN'T THERE.
AM: I FEEL LIKE SHIT FOR PULLING YOU INTO THIS.
AM: I FEEL LIKE SHIT FOR PULLING DAVE INTO THIS AND MAKING HIM CONFLICTED.
AM: I FEEL LIKE SHIT FOR DRAGGING MY ANCESTOR AND HIS MATESPRIT INTO IT.
AM: FOR DRAGGING AUNT LEJION AND RED INTO IT.
AM: EVERYONE HERE AND EVERYONE WHERE YOU ARE.
AM: I FUCKING DRAGGED THEM INTO THIS.
TG: yeah. you did.
AM: I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE TO BLAME FOR IT, BUT THEY'RE SUFFERING BECAUSE THEY'RE CONNECTED TO ME.
TG: from my stand point
TG: it's on your end.
TG: because i did my fuckin best.
TG: i maybe wasn't PERFECT but i did my best.
AM: YES, YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY ALONE ON THAT FRONT.
AM: I PUT FORTH NO EFFORT IN DIGGING THROUGH EMOTIONAL TANGLES AND TRYING TO MOVE PAST THINGS.
TG: no, you laid on your bulge and waited for problems to go away on their own.
AM: I FOCUSED ON TRAINING AND LEARNING SHIT WHILE I WAS SORTING THROUGH SHIT, YOU DENSE FUCK.
AM: I WAS GOING TO WAIT UNTIL YOU WERE LESS VULNERABLE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING I THOUGHT MIGHT FUCKING KILL YOU.
AM: OR HEAVEN FORBID, MAKE YOU DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS THREATEN YOU WILL.
AM: I HAVE BEEN PATIENT AND TRYING TO FUCKING DEFEND YOU.
TG: and so was i!
AM: I KNOW THAT.
AM: IT'S YOU SAYING I'M NOT FUCKING DOING ANYTHING.
TG: because that's what you used to do when you got aroused. you laid down and waited for it to go away.
AM: BECAUSE THAT'S TOTALLY WHAT I DO FOR EVERY SITUATION I DON'T LIKE.
TG: and is it PRODUCTIVE?
AM: IT'S NOT LIKE I'VE EVER DRAGGED AN UNCONSCIOUS FRIEND ACROSS A METEOR TO ESCAPE ANOTHER FRIEND WHO WAS GOING BERSERK AND THREATENING MURDER, OR ANOTHER FRIEND WHO LITERALLY COMMITTED MURDER IN FRONT OF ME BEFORE.
TG: this isn't about your time on the goddamned meteor, karkat.
TG: this is about you
TG: and me.
AM: THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME SITTING THERE AND IGNORING MY DICK EITHER.
AM: BUT FOR SOME REASON THAT'S RELEVANT.
AM: I'M TELLING YOU THAT'S NOT ALL I DO WHEN I'M CONFLICTED.
AM: OR BOTHERED.
AM: OR UPSET.
TG: you left the situation until it exploded, karkat.
TG: you left it until there was no other option than to be angry or violent.
AM: I WAS ATTEMPTING TO BE TACTFUL AND BRING IT UP AT A TIME WHEN YOU WERE EMOTIONALLY STABLE.
TG: you could have sat down and said 'there's this thing i'm feeling' and gosh, i would have understood.
TG: oh bullshit you were putting it off.
AM: I DON'T.
AM: DO THAT.
TG: and there in lies our problem!
TG: would you have even thought about it if i hadn't pointed out it wasn't ok for dave to be smelling like you the way he was when YOU AND I were matesprits?
AM: THAT'S HALF OF WHAT POINTED OUT HOW I WAS FEELING ABOUT HIM TO ME, ACTUALLY.
TG: oh i would have pointed to inviting him over when i pissed you off that time as a better guide.
TG: or how about the times you went and talked to him when i made mistakes and he came down on me like the devil himself and you didn't say anything to comfort or defend me.
TG: oh i could list things that would point it out so much better than dave smelling like you.
AM: HOW MANY TIMES WAS I ALERTED TO DAVE GETTING AFTER YOU?
AM: I TALK TO MORE THAN JUST HIM ABOUT YOU, YOU KNOW.
TG: gee, how many times did i say 'dave is upset with me'?
AM: I TALK TO DAD AND MERC TOO.
AM: YES JOHN, HOW MANY TIMES?
TG: yeah and i didn't appreciate you going to them about our problems either.
AM: I GO TO THEM FOR EVERYTHING.
TG: gosh i don't remember. i told you EVERY time dave was upset with me though. every single time.
TG: and you don't
TG: go to your parents
TG: when your mate and you
TG: are having issues.
TG: you go to your fucking mate.
TG: you have respect and bring your problems to them first.
i who have no one[IP] part two
TG: do you understand?
AM: I KNOW I'M A MASSIVE PIECE OF SHIT. I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU STRAIGHT UP. I ALSO KNOW THAT I DID WRONG. I UNDERSTAND THAT.
TG: do you?
AM: DID I FUCKING STUTTER.
TG: no, but you've seemed pretty fucking dense in the past.
AM: I'M NOT DENSE.
AM: I'M SELECTIVE ABOUT WHAT I SHOW PEOPLE.
AM: IT'S PART OF SURVIVING AS LONG AS I HAVE.
AM: I AVOID DECISIONS THAT WILL PUT ME OR THOSE AROUND ME IN DANGER UNTIL I CAN'T AVOID IT ANY LONGER.
TG: because that's safe and that'll help you survive.
AM: BECAUSE IT HAS KEPT ME ALIVE.
AM: ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU.
AM: YOU HAVE CALLED YOURSELF VENGEFUL.
AM: YOU HAVE PSIONIC ABILITIES AND CAN HOP THROUGH BUBBLES.
AM: DO YOU REALLY THINK I WANT TO PISS YOU OFF ON PURPOSE?
TG: you also don't count on my self control.
AM: I DON'T TEND TO AFTER WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, NO.
TG: i never attacked you.
AM: YOU DIDN'T, NO.
TG: so why the fuck
TG: would you think
TG: that caring for you as i did
TG: even PISSED THE FUCK OFF
TG: that i would hurt you?
TG: or dave?
TG: or anyone who didn't REALLY deserve it?
AM: GAMZEE GAVE A SHIT ABOUT ME AND ATTEMPTED TO MURDER ME. DID MURDER EQUIUS AND NEPETA. BOTH OF WHOM HE GOT ALONG FAMOUSLY WITH.
TG: oh bully. is my name gamzee?
TG: have i EVER attacked ANYONE that you know of?
AM: ERIDAN GAVE A SHIT ABOUT ME AND MURDERED FEFERI AND KANAYA IN FRONT OF ME AFTER BLASTING THE SHIT OUT OF SOLLUX.
AM: THESE ARE PEOPLE I WOULD HAVE TRUSTED WITH MY LIFE.
TG: is my name john? or is it suddenly gamzee makara or eridan ampora?
AM: PEOPLE FUCKING CHANGE WHEN THEY SNAP, JOHN.
TG: and no one invited me to the party?
TG: eridan was already a genocidal shithead and we both know it.
AM: YOU SIT THERE AND TALK ABOUT HOW SHIT HAPPENED TO YOU DURING SCHOOLFEEDING.
AM: HOW OFTEN DO I BRING UP WATCHING MY FRIENDS BEING MURDERED IN FRONT OF ME?
TG: often enough.
TG: this isn't
AM: EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU.
AM: IT'S ALWAYS
TG: but this?
AM: WITH YOU IT IS, JOHN.
TG: this right here?
TG: this IS about me.
TG: you wanted to know why i'm angry i'm telling you.
AM: YES, I DID ASK.
AM: AND I'M GLAD YOU TOLD ME.
AM: I EVEN WAITED FOR YOU TO GET MOST OF IT OUT.
TG: you seem to be using this as a chance to EXCUSE your actions.
TG: there's NO excuse for betraying someone you claimed to love.
AM: YOU'RE ADEPT AT RECOGNIZING THAT.
AM: BETRAYING YOU?
TG: for spouting pretty promises and going 'oops. nope.'
TG: you don't get to say 'i thought you were going to snap'.
AM: DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING ON GOING BACK TO YOU AND PICKING THINGS UP?
AM: OR DO YOU JUST ASSUME IT WAS FOR THE WHOLE TIME?
TG: it sure as fuck looks like the whole time.
AM: AND YES, I DID FUCKING THINK YOU WOULD SNAP ON ME.
TG: because from the night you got there you were distant.
TG: because things ended between us so soon after that.
TG: because suddenly you didn't even have the time to send me an im.
TG: unless you were prompted.
TG: so what am i supposed to think?
TG: because you sure as hell didn't make it seem like you wanted me.
AM: DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH?
TG: i DESERVE the truth, karkat.
TG: i've ALWAYS deserved the truth.
TG: do you think merc would lie to mr v if he didn't have the same feelings anymore?
AM: IF YOU WANT THE TRUTH
AM: SHUT UP AND STOP DRAGGING ME TOWARDS DUMPING CHUCKLEVOODOOS ON A BUNCH OF FUCKING LIONS
i who have nothing[IP] part one
-- antagonizedMismanager [AM] began pestering trickstersGhost [TG] at 00: 56 --
AM: SCREAMS THE WORD PURPLE.
AM: IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION.
TG: did you get rid of the celery seed?
AM: IT TURNS OUT FAUST LIKES TO EAT IT.
TG: faust treats. ok.
TG: casey wants to be a xatu.
AM: MUNIN HAS BASICALLY BEEN TRAINING HIMSELF USING THE INTERNET. RIDLEY AND FAUST BATTLE CRABS A LOT. AND FAUST AND MUNIN TRAIN BESIDE ME.
AM: THEY APPARENTLY LEARN SKILLS THAT WAY WHICH HELPS THEM GET CLOSER TO EVOLVING OR SOMETHING?
TG: whatever works. i'll start working with her as soon as possible because holy wow she can be obnoxious when she wants something.
AM: IF NOTHING ELSE, GO ONLINE AND SEARCH FOR MOVESETS TO TEACH HER.
TG: yeah we were looking at the natu page together earlier.
AM: MUCH LUCK ON HELPING HER OUT. STRIFE WITH A PSYCHIC TYPE IS HORRIBLE.
TG: welp, we'll get the hang of it.
AM: MUNIN STILL LIKES TO MAKE ME RANDOMLY FLOAT IN CIRCLES.
TG: at least he keeps you on your toes.
TG: oh hell casey saw his name and is making all kinds of noise now.
AM: ACTUALLY HE KEEPS ME ABOUT A FOOT OFF THE GROUND.
TG: you know what i meant.
TG: ok no she's pecking my hands and being ridiculously insistant.
TG: i'm pretty sure what she wants is for munin to be told she says hi.
AM: TELL HER MUNIN SAYS HI BACK.
TG: yep that got her to knock it off.
TG: she's gone back to her roost.
AM: MUNIN'S STOLEN MY HUSKTOP TO LOOK UP TRAINING THINGS. AM ON MY MOBILE.
AM: HE SPENDS A LOT OF TIME DOING THAT.
TG: i'm working my courses.
TG: how's his studying going?
AM: HE KNOWS MORE THAN I DO ABOUT HUMAN CULTURE AND TROLL CULTURE COMBINED.
AM: AND HE'S TEACHING BASICALLY EVERY OTHER POKEMON I HAVE DIFFERENT SKILLS.
AM: THE ONLY ONE HE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE DOING THAT WITH IS BERRY. HE'S JUST TEACHING HER TO CLEAN AND TAKE CARE OF HERSELF RIGHT NOW.
AM: THOUGH SHE'S SMACKED THE SHIT OUT OF CRABS A FEW TIMES.
TG: berry's a baby though, so of course he's not going to teach her the same things.
AM: SHE KNOWS ENOUGH TO JUMP ON MY STOMACH TO WAKE ME UP WHEN SHE'S HUNGRY.
TG: aw baby.
AM: I'M RELATIVELY SURE SHE'S TRIED TO JUMP ON DAVE'S BLADDER.
TG: oh bless her.
AM: I LOOKED UP HUMAN ANATOMY BECAUSE I WAS BORED.
AM: IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO PUNCH SOMEONE IN THE LUNGS FROM THEIR ASS WITHOUT A LOT OF EFFORT. THAT MADE ME SAD.
AM: I KNOW WHERE THE KIDNEYS ARE NOW, THOUGH.
TG: oh good.
AM: MUCH EASIER TO PUNCH THEM WITHOUT HAVING TO GUESS.
TG: you can do a lot of damage punching someone there.
AM: I CAN?
TG: kidney shots can be deadly.
AM: PUNCH YOUR ORGANS TO DEATH.
TG: yep. you punch there, you can rupture them. they're poison filters.
AM: OH DAMN.
AM: WHAT ABOUT LIVER.
AM: THAT SOUNDS TASTY.
TG: also a poison filter.
TG: great with onion, though.
AM: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THOSE ARE.
AM: BUT THOSE SOUND TASTY TOO.
TG: have you seen dave naked? (trust me this is related)
AM: I WAS HIS KISMESIS AND WE DID SHIT TWICE.
AM: DO YOU REALLY NEED TO ASK THAT.
TG: it's what's in the weird sack of skin behind his dick.
AM: OH, THAT THING.
TG: yeah. it's a pair of things actually
AM: ...THERE'S TWO OF THEM?
TG: in the sack of skin, yes.
AM: DO THEY COME OUT?
TG: only if you cut it open and trust me you don't want to cut that it'll hurt like a son of a bitch.
TG: bleed everywhere.
TG: it's not pretty.
AM: NO THANK YOU.
TG: basically everything down there on a human is tender and will bleed really badly if you even knick it.
AM: WHY WOULD YOU EVOLVE IN A WAY TO KEEP THOSE IN STRIKING RANGE.
TG: i don't know why humans evolved that way.
TG: probably because it was what people found attractive.
TG: who knows.
AM: A STRANGE HANGING SACK OF PAIN IN A SPOT THAT'S BASICALLY A GIANT BULLSEYE?
TG: vulnerability or some shit i don't know.
AM: SO I JUST TOLD MY PARENTS ABOUT MY LIFE DECISION.
AM: IT WENT OVER WELL.
TG: of course.
AM: ARE YOU ANGRY.
TG: right now? in general? yes.
AM: WHAT'S UP?
TG: hold on a second.
TG: do you really want to know why i'm mad?
AM: WILL IT END WITH YOU COMING OVER TO BEAT ME WITH A HAMMER?
TG: considering that's how i've been feeling for the last... twenty four hours?
AM: IS THAT A 'YES I WILL ATTACK YOU WITH A HAMMER'?
TG: i'm not going to attack you with a hammer even if i want to.
TG: but i really AM angry.
AM: ALRIGHT. WHY ARE YOU ANGRY?
TG: i feel like i was done wrong. lead on by someone i would have died for. i feel betrayed.
TG: i feel like the things you said to me before you left were a lie to placate me.
TG: i feel used.
TG: most of all i feel like the last four months meant nothing at all.
TG: i feel like
TG: like i was the only one who was really in that relationship.
TG: i feel betrayed by someone who claimed to be my brother, whom i made part of my family.
TG: i feel like i didn't matter at all to anyone.
TG: i feel like perhaps the reason no one was seeing me having troubles was perhaps because they were waiting for me to be 'let go'.
TG: most of all i feel like i gave up important things for someone who
TG: a handful of weeks later,
TG: decided i was no longer worth the effort.
TG: so i gave those things up for no reason.
TG: i feel
TG: ... so much pain right now.
TG: so much rage and i have
TG: no idea how to handle it.
TG: because i loved someone so much
TG: so very much, with all of what i am
TG: and i was dropped.
TG: like i didn't even matter.
TG: worse is that
TG: i feel like i was lied to because the person i loved didn't even have enough faith in me living up to my promises.
TG: and partially maybe
TG: i feel like i was just there as a warmup act for someone else.
TG: like i didn't matter at all to begin with.
TG: like you wanted dave but you settled for me.
TG: then dave made himself available and i was small potatoes.
AM: DAVE 'MADE HIMSELF AVAILABLE'?
AM: SOLLUX IS DEAD, JOHN.
TG: he wasn't when he confessed to you, when he left him.
TG: was he?
TG: hell, he wasn't when you two were snuggled in our bed.
TG: i wasn't even GONE yet.
TG: i wasn't even aware i'd fallen out of favor.
AM: I'D BEEN QUESTIONING SHIT BETWEEN US FOR A GOOD WEEK BEFORE I CAME OVER HERE. I KEPT QUIET ABOUT IT BECAUSE I WANTED TO SEE HOW SHIT WOULD PAN OUT AND IF THAT WAS TEMPORARY CRUSH OR LEGIT FEELINGS.
TG: yeah a week.
AM: NOT DAVE'S FAULT.
AM: NOT DAVE'S DOING.
TG: no. this is all karkat.
TG: karkat who didn't have the balls to say 'so this is a thing' waiting until i get on his case about the way things are starting to look and smell to start figuring his shit out.
TG: karkat who started drifting the minute i made a mistake.
TG: who lost faith in me.
TG: who gave me hope then walked away.
TG: who treated me like shit even when i tried very VERY hard to be what he wanted.
TG: who didn't respect me enough to say he might have feelings for someone else and talk to me about things before he left, then didn't talk to me about jack shit after he left and seems to expect me NOT to be upset after it falls to hell without a word.
TG: you remember what i did when i told you about dan?
TG: that was me having the respect to tell you i was having issues.
TG: that's how you handle things like that.
TG: you don't just roll over and lay on your belly and expect them to NOT go away.
TG: you CERTAINLY don't expect the other person to be OK with the way things went when they fall out and you don't even bother to explain why.
TG: and you more than certainly don't give the other person hope, then leave them hanging for a week while you work up the guts to talk to them about something.
TG: you don't make them play guessing games.
TG: you WRONGED ME karkat.
TG: i've been up front with you since day fucking one, and you wronged me.
Goodbye love, came to say goodbye love Goodbye...
-- trickstersGhost [TG] began pestering antagonizedMismanager [AM] at 13: 11 --
TG: [→pap him then.]
TG: [→Kiss his forehead.]sorry. trying to help with this captor thing and deal with this strider shit...
AM: I know. I'm sorry to make you deal with this too.
TG: i really REALLY need you to figure it out, love.
TG: also everyone is insisting i go out with my auspicitice and try to keep him from punching himself in the face because of the other captor he's sharing a body with yey!
AM: Sigh. Delightful.
TG: yeah. i get to visit a meteor.
TG: yeah. i have to walk through the bubbles and do what kanaya is apparently failing at.
TG: he's been pulled onto a meteor.
AM: Kanaya? Failing at something?
TG: she sucks at clubs.
TG: she sucks hard.
AM: She sucks at clubs when people don't want to resolve shit.
TG: well, considering sparks and i are actually in a club together, i'm pretty sure he's upset that someone not in his quads is trying to step in...
AM: Who's the third member in your trio of ashen romance?
TG: that one seems to rotate. right now it's the other sollux.
TG: we're just labling that other leaf 'existence'.
AM: Save him from himself.
TG: they've been jacking body functions from each other to punch themselves in the face when one does something the other doesn't like. there's only so much you can do over a computer screen.
AM: I don't understand the situation. I don't think I'll ever understand it entirely.
TG: it apparently has to do with feferi.
AM: No clue.
TG: someone wanted to live again, it wrangled his soul out of the bubbles. equius dirk and i've all been on edge because we thought it wasn't a thing that could happen. one second you're there then the next you're not? it doesn't speak well about the abilities of people like great granny crocker...
AM: I've got less idea of what's going on now than I did earlier.
AM: I'm just going into the realm of 'the fuck did I walk into?'
TG: [→pap him] it's ok. not a lot of us do right now.
AM: I've got no idea what to do about any of this.
TG: [→sigh.] i know...
AM: I suppose I should leave it to you, considering I'm not involved. And wish you luck. Lots of luck.
TG: [→nuzzle his forehead.] two of us are in charge of bringing food to the meteor so they're not eating whatever trash you guys got stuck with out there, since we can scoot in and out at will... me faster than the others.
AM: I have, like. No input to give on this. I literally have no idea what you're walking into, short of the little you've told me.
TG: i don't really know either.
TG: eight people on the meteor apparently...
TG: yeah. i don't know the specifics but eight is what zahhak said.
TG: he's on his way there manually.
AM: Am I horrible for just. Wanting to remove myself from the situation entirely?
TG: it depends entirely on which situation you mean.
AM: The one involving a meteor of trolls hurtling through space.
AM: Been there.
AM: Done that.
AM: 0/10, would not do again.
TG: you don't have to go. i however, have an obligation to my auspistice. i can keep you updated on me personally.
AM: I would appreciate the updates on you.
TG: i can go back and forth between the meteor and here so i can spend time with you.
AM: >What does scentmarking him now do. Rub your ears on his cheek./ I would like that.
TG: i wasn't kidding when dad said i should spend more time with you.[→nuzzle against him, returning the favor.]
AM: You should. And you should tell Sollux I said to stop hitting himself. That joke is overplayed.
TG: and... karkat?
TG: [→flick his forehead.] that's for telling dave AND merc about the situation with kitty. i felt bad enough about it and had both of them jump on me about it.
AM: Take pride in what's yours. Anybody insults it, make them answer to your hammer. It's what we do. >Affection headbutt regardless of flickings.
TG: [→headbutt in return.] i am proud of you.
TG: and the situation is partially why i'm lording firsties over kitty's head.
TG: transportalizers are a thing i don't generally have to worry about, and since they're down, i'm the only one that can get on the meteor aside from MAYBE zahhak.
TG: i get firsties because i can walk in next to a dreamer no problem.
TG: he's complaining.
TG: [→wag pda glasses up and down on your face.]
AM: Tell him to die and get anon powers and shut his face.
TG: come help me make soup and corn bread.
AM: Unless by 'help' you mean 'sit there and comment on everything' I will have like, no assistance to give.
TG: you can hand me things. my arm is still sore from faust being a little bitch.
AM: I can do that.
TG: did you know that when sparks visited the last time at the hotel, merc unleashed voodoos and sparks almost destroyed our room?
AM: When the fuck was that?
TG: way back in december. i think it was one of those times you were sleeping like a rock...
AM: One would figure that would be one of the things you'd mention. Like, that day.
TG: [→shrug] it didn't seem important when i managed to contain his outburst...
TG: hey... karkat...?
TG: you know i love you no matter what, yeah?
AM: I love you too. No matter what.
TG: legitimately my reason for living. [→kiss his finger]
AM: ...I'm all that's got you wanting to live?
TG: maybe. maybe not.
AM: I'm going to stare at you until you expand upon that.
TG: i don't know how to expand on that...
TG: most of the people i love are dead. that's no motivation.
[03: 23] -- antagonizedMismanager [AM] is now an idle chum! --
TG: remember how i was going to try to court eridan pale?
TG: that fell apart before it even got started.
AM: ...I'm sorry.
TG: [→shrug] it could have gone worse. it could have been because of a glitch... he could have been a dick about it.
TG: it turns out when you're retaining quadranted feelings for the same person, even if they're not **THE SAME KIND** of feeling, tensions run high.
AM: I understand that.
AM: I had problems with that with your moirail.
AM: Before I found out he wanted something a little more flushed.
TG: part of why i'm having trouble with dave...
TG: sometimes i feel like my position is being threatened, whether by design or unintentionally... i like dave, and i want him to be happy... i'd just rather he be happy with his own damned mate.
AM: I wouldn't do anything with him while I have you.
TG: it's the principle. remember how you felt about dan having feelings for me? how angry and frustrated you felt and how much you wanted to hurt him?
AM: I know.
TG: yeah... exactly what i've been feeling since the two of you split up as kismesis.
TG: especially with him in our room, in our bed.
AM: I'm sorry.
TG: it's not entirely your fault. it's not like he's been saying 'no'.
TG: not like i've been a fantastic mate lately either.
TG: enough to the point where he feels entitled to step in and make commentary and make me feel like shit for fucking up when i already have that covered on my own...
AM: It's not your fault. And it's not his either.
TG: it's not all your fault, karkat. typheus has been insisting i have to own my mistakes and frankly he's right. and my recent mistakes were pretty huge... that said i don't blame you for entertaining SOME flushed feelings outside our relationship... i'm a fuckup. i just... [→sigh]i'm trying.
AM: You're not all to blame. But Dave...
TG: go on.
AM: All Dave's done is basically hang out with me.
TG: cuddle, comfort, sleep in our bed...
TG: oh, and put his nose into our issues.
AM: Most of which I've kind of led him into doing.
TG: and he didn't say 'no'.
TG: he's a strong capable person. he has his own relationships.
AM: I care about him too, John.
TG: i get that.
TG: but he doesn't get to snip at me.
TG: did you know he does that?
AM: I only know what I see.
TG: sometimes it feels like he seeks out opportunities to snip at me, cut me down, make me feel like a child.
TG: i was feeling bad enough about the kitty issue and then he piled ontop of it.
TG: i felt HORRIBLE about the leak with sparks, and he jumped on that too!
TG: merc wonders why it seems like i hate him, well he's not giving me very many reasons not to!
AM: Are you waxing black for Dave?
TG: i don't find him physically attractive.
AM: To each their own, I suppose.
TG: he doesn't understand. at the end of the day, pretty much no matter what, he's going to have someone to go home to.
TG: he's got sollux. he might be saying goodbye to victoras, might be saying goodbye to you, but he's not going to be alone AT ALL.
TG: he doesn't understand that i've been waffling between preparing to say goodbye to you and being ready to go with you since we got together. he doesn't understand that this is driving me UP A WALL.
TG: doesn't get that i'm afraid because I DON'T WANT to be alone but i'm giving you up because you've been working toward going with them since before we got together.
TG: because i don't want you to be held back by me.
AM: Held back?
TG: he doesn't understand how hard it is to sit by and watch you train and get ready to leave, and how much i just want to hang on but i CAN'T because if i do you won't be ready.
TG: and then he goes 'it's not my fault you're absent'. NO. it's mine. i have to be in an entirely different location or i'll make some kind of ridiculous spectacle of myself.
AM: I don't even know what to say right now.
TG: i sit in the room and work toward a ged on a borrowed identity so i can at least be able to provide for myself while i wait for you and he's NOT GETTING IT because HE doesn't have to face a long ass wait just to see his mate again.
AM: Do you know how likely it is that Sollux didn't even notice Dave was gone?
TG: i don't even have words for how scared and lonely i already am and how hard i'm trying to get used to the idea of being alone because i haven't really had to face the prospect of coming home and not having you there since i got a life again!
AM: I CAN'T be the only thing keeping you living, John.
TG: and that really doesn't matter because sollux doesn't go anywhere so he's always likely to be there when dave gets back!
AM: I cannot be the only thing keeping you alive.
TG: i don't know. ok? i don't know.
AM: You have friends.
AM: You can have a life.
AM: You can do whatever you put your mind to.
TG: i sort of have dad-egbert... sort of. and baby bird... and i can't go see them if i'm not around, but i... i told velius and tony i HONESTLY don't know what makes me happy.
AM: Find something, then.
AM: Find something you enjoy.
AM: Find someone you enjoy the company of.
AM: I love you.
AM: I do.
TG: i love you too.
AM: You need more than just me.
AM: Especially if I'm leaving soon.
TG: i know.
AM: >Hugs? John seems like he could use one of those.
TG: [→Lean against him, press your face into his shoulder. Yeah you definitely do.]you're still coming back, right?
AM: Of course I am. >Tiiiight hugs.
TG: sparks has me staying here... told me to spend time with you instead.[→You may or may not be crying with your face hidden the way it is.] you're not the only thing. i promise.
TG: other me can open a bakery and have an apartment in the living world then... then so can i.
AM: I'll be proud of you for doing so.
TG: ... i don't... i don't like dave questioning my everything... i don't like him treating me like a kid... i don't like him lecturing me... you know?
AM: I know.
AM: He only does it because he cares.
TG: i know...
AM: He wants to help and doesn't know how.
TG: i know... i know i just...
TG: him snapping at me isn't helping at all.
AM: Have you told him?
TG: *i've been working on my ged and trying to establish an identity in human sollux's timeline so i can actually have an existence when you go... a real one... and no... because every time he does it he backs me around in a way that makes me feel llike i'm a snotty twelve year old.
AM: You're a blueblooded troll. A highblood. You know Vriska and Equius.
TG: ... don't see what that has to do with anything...
AM: You're practically royalty.
AM: Royalty doesn't take anybody's shit.
TG: i apparently still need lessons in that...
AM: You have a lot to learn, yeah.
AM: One thing at a time, though.
TG: yeah... i need people to learn FROM... i cna't believe the me that got moirails with kankri got it all already...
AM: Ask Equius.
AM: Tell him you want to learn to act proper for your station.
AM: He'll probably eat it up and give you tips.
TG: actually equius takes every chance he can to remind me of my former humanity...
AM: Then order him to stop doing that shit and teach you what you need to know.
AM: If he starts to sweat, you're doing something right.
TG: maybe after this shit with the captors is over.
TG: i suspect i'm going to have to smack a feferi...
TG: i've never hit a girl before.
AM: Don't worry.
AM: She's a seadweller.
TG: don't worry he says... she's a seadweller he says...
AM: She might be offended, but she sure as fuck won't be hurt unless you break out the hammer.
TG: smack generally means 'hammer'.
TG: i'm not risking piano fingers.
AM: There might be some indignation.
AM: And if there's a matesprit involved, you might have to hammer one of them.
AM: Into the wall.
TG: i don't know who her quadrants are...only sollux's.
TG: an aradia as a moirail and a karkat as a mate... which incedentally upset a quadrantly judgemental member of the rescue effort.
TG: i've been following the conversation on my glasses.
AM: I love you, but if I keep hearing about Kitty, I'm going to throw a fit and you won't like what I do.
TG: [→pap]got it.
AM: I fucking hate that guy.
TG: equius is none too pleased with sollux, mainly because the guy keeps insulting us.
TG: it's ok though. i promised to rap him around the horns with a ladle and sparks didn't mind much.
AM: If 'the guy' is who I think he is.
AM: He can shove his opinions up his ass or do it himself.
TG: vanti are attractive. the sooner everyone accepts that the sooner we can have peace.
AM: My dad's a hot one, yeah.
TG: you're not bad either... 10/10 would do again.
AM: Glad you think so.
AM: Personally rate myself a 4/10, though I take marks off for incompetence.
TG: of course i think so... you can't take six marks off. what about marks for being affectionate and loving? i'm adding a few more on. ten for just that, five for being humble, eight for overall appearance with clothes on, minus two for letting dave stink up the bed for a total of 21/10.
TG: full ten for being without a shirt. the muscle you're putting on is NOT hurting ANYTHING, did you know?
TG: so twenty three of ten.
TG: i forgot to factor in dedication... there's an extra point in your favor...
AM: John noooo.
TG: karkat yes.
TG: face it.
TG: i find you attractive.
AM: Attractive's not too bad.
TG: if i tacked on points for the awesomeness of what i might consider our first date i'd have to say there's no possible way anyone else can ever catch up.
AM: I'm not great.
AM: I'm not.
TG: i think you are.
TG: that should count for something.
AM: I don't know how to get you to realize that.
TG: i'm never going to agree that you're not great, love.
AM: Where's Sollux at again?
TG: on an asteroid somewhere in the outer ring...
AM: Wait. The meteor hasn't left the outer ring?
AM: Is it MOVING?
TG: i only know what i'm told... it was called the outer ring, it might be because they don't know what to call the area...
TG: but from what i understand yes... and there's a dave there at least?
TG: unless it's a whacky timeline where dave is a troll and standing in someone else's place which i wouldn't doubt...
TG: i wouldnn't put anything past the game at this point.
AM: The more I hear about that, the less I understand.
TG: welcome to my world. all i know is that i have to somehow get two solli using the same body to stop punching themselves in the face or making each other and their quadrants cry.
AM: ...I hate to say it, but...I think they need you more than I do right now, love.
AM: I'm not on the verge of self harm. Or harming those around me.
TG: fff if you two keep giving me conflicting information i'm going to pick a location and not budge.
AM: Conflicting information?
TG: you say they need me more, sparks insists YOU need me more...
AM: I'm not hurting myself.
AM: I'm not hurting those around me.
AM: Right now, anyways.
AM: I have food.
AM: I have time.
AM: All I have to worry about is sorting through things.
TG: ... would you do me a favor and get the dave smell out of the bed so when i get back i have a space that isn't the windmil to feel safe?
AM: I can do that.
AM: It might smell like food, but I can do that.
TG: food smell is ok.
TG: you smell is ok.
TG: safe smells... home smells.
AM: Go save the dumbbutt from himself. And keep reminding him that hitting himself is a cliche joke. I'll take care of that.
TG: i love you...
AM: I love you too. >Kiss that boy.
TG: [→kiss him back, hug him tight, nuzzle his face a second later. Do your best to put your scent there.] canse is staying here with you.
AM: >Counter-scentmarking is a thing you're doing./ What's staying here with me?
TG: the crab plush. i took the heart off so it will go with you when you go...
TG: and smell like me...
AM: Ah, that. Of course.
TG: yeah. i want him to smell like you so i have a lot of karkat smell when you go away... in fact... i want your sweater. [→tug on it.]
AM: I can give you one of those. >Smile and kiss his nose.
TG: [→kiss his lips.] good.
AM: ...be safe, alright?
TG: of course. who's going to threaten me when i have a sickle hammer with the backing of psionics? you just don't tempt fate like that.
AM: My friends were dumb like that.
TG: i'm pretty sure i can hold my own. i took down typheus in my bubble and it wasn't even a figment.
AM: Proud of you.
TG: [→kiss him.] proud of you too.
TG: they blew up the last computer they were using and i sigh at them.
AM: Oh my god.
TG: yeah. i was reminded captors spark. i didn't need to be reminded. we used to be moirails. i know how to contain that.
AM: Bring them one of my husktops? Sollux will probably scream about how badly taken care of it is, but. Eh.
TG: of course...
AM: It'll give him something to defeat that isn't himself.
TG: if they cry do i give you more points or take them away?
AM: I'll leave that to your judgement.
AM: If they bitch about the bracket keys being missing, tell them I threw it at the wall one time when I was talking to them and those two keys popped off and never returned.
TG: i will, now... sweater.[→cheekspuff]
AM: >Remove sweater and offer it.
TG: ... oh they want me to stay here tonight and go tomorrow.
AM: They do?
TG: also 'i'm sorry'.
AM: Sorry? For what?
TG: for taking me away.
AM: He needs you. I understand that.
TG: [→kiss him.]
AM: >Kiss back. And hug him around the middle.
TG: [→nuzzle, hug him around the shoulders then work your shirt off and tug his sweater on.]
TG: do you think we could spar at some point?
TG: i'm suddenly intensely frustrated
AM: Could try it. Tavros found the training equipment.
TG: oh good.
TG: are you ok?
AM: Yeah, no, I'll be fine.
TG: are you sure?
AM: I'll be fine.
AM: >Affection headbutt./ Promise.
TG: [→headbutt in return.]alright.... i was worried. you went all quiet and i practically yelled at you earlier...
TG: now you're quiet again.
AM: >Casual...staring at the mobile./ No fault of yours.
AM: Talking to dad.
TG: do i want to know?
TG: care to share?
TG: ... why tomorrow?
AM: No. Not...
AM: Not I'll share tomorrow.
AM: Just. Tomorrow.
TG: about what i'm doing tomorrow or is it something else?
AM: He was going to pick me up tonight.
AM: Tomorrow though.
TG: so ah... we should... we should get you packed yeah?
AM: ... >Pull him into a hug.
AM: I'll be back. I promise. >Hug him tight and rub your cheek against his.
TG: i know. i know... [→nuzzlecling.]
AM: We do get tonight.
TG: lets get you packed i have something for you and i dont want to forget it okay [→You're not panicking. You're very calm. (that's an utter lie.)]
AM: Okay. I, uh. I have something I was going to give you too. We knew this'd happen eventually.
TG: [→Nod] i just wasn't expecting it to happen so soon.
AM: I know. >Kiss his temple.
TG: [→Nuzzle him, squeeze. Deep breaths yeah that's the way to handle it.]
AM: Calm. Caaaaaalm. We can handle this.
TG: [→Tug his hand gently, guide him back to the room.] i actually started gathering things with the thought that id be going and then i wasnt so its all yours now and i even added a whole lot more while youve been training because ive been trying to go over everything and make sure all bases are covered you know
TG: im trying to be calm im making a real effort
AM: >Headtilt and listen./ Gathering things?
TG: [→drop down next to a trunk, throw it open.] i dont always study and when im not im making lists and double checking that i can get and have gotten the things on those lists havent you noticed my not being around
AM: Of course I noticed that...what all did you get?
TG: first aid kits medical herbs spices for cooking pots pans canteens water purifier sewing kit shoe repair sleeping bag hunting knives cooking knives fishing net thick blanket thin blanket bento boxes was going to prepare that though rope got some rope went out and got some anatomy first aid and general medical guides in alternian i was very careful and looked for alternian guides for you after i wa
TG: sn't going berry pouches for the pokemon filled those...
AM: ...you did more preparing than I did, stuff-wise. Am proud of you. >Drop next to him and pull him into a tight hug.
TG: all i could think of was stuff. what if i forgot something and it got you killed. what if you got hurt and didn't have something... there's burn salve in theer too. it's marked 'honey' but it's salve it's good i promise. i hope you don't need it but it's there if you do and the books will tell you how to make poltices and things. [→Hug him back, slow deep breaths, tight grip.] i'll add the heart t
TG: oo because canse was so i could get your scent and if you've got him the point's kind of stupid as shit... you're so precious to me do you know that?
AM: I'll be fine. It doesn't take too long to do the scent thing. Promise. And I know. >Pet his hair.
TG: are you taking faust? is he ok to go? [→burrow against him.]
AM: I think so. He's been shockingly cooperative lately. >Calming hairpets and purring.
TG: ok good... very good. [→cling, start purring in return.]
AM: Everything will be fine.
AM: They wouldn't bring me into a place that wasn't at least secured.
TG: i know i know at least part of me knows and the other part is screaming... i thought i would be more ok with this...
AM: I want to tell you not to worry, but that's...an unrealistic thing to say, to be honest. I know you'll worry. I just want you to know it's okay.
TG: you'll be with them and they won't let you be killed i know.
AM: ...we do have tonight.
TG: [→nod, kiss his cheek.]
AM: ...he said dad'd be here 'early'.
TG: early... how early? day time early?
TG: morning early sunrise sunset?
AM: I don't know. Probably as soon as both of us are up kind of early.
AM: They've been sleeping a little late.
AM: ... >Uncaptchalogue the necklace you made for him and offer it up so he can see the pendant, a silver disc with a red gem./ The writing on the back is in Alternian, but it's basically both of our names...I made the chain really long so you could keep it under your shirt if you wanted.
TG: [→Lean so he can put it on you. You're not going to have another breakdown. nope.]
AM: >Slip the chain over his head and kiss his temples when you're there.
TG: [→nuzzle his face, wrap your arms around him, kiss his lips gently.] i'll go to the dream bubbles whenever you sign off. i'll be waiting there for you.
AM: >Kiss back and nuzzle back, hugging tight./ Good. I'll let you know all about what's going on when I see you, then.
TG: [→crawl into his lap, rest your forehead against his, glasses off.] okay good.
AM: >Rub your face against his and sigh./ Half of me wants to sleep so I can be up early to be sure I have everything.
TG: this is the last time we'll be together when it's not a dream for you... [→just pointing that out.]
AM: I know. That's what the other half of me is thinking.
TG: it's the only thing in my head right now..
-- antagonizedMismanager [AM] ceased pestering trickstersGhost [TG] at 23: 39 --
[11: 39] -- antagonizedMismanager [AM] changed their mood to OFFLINE --
what if i posted all the dave and john logs?
[12:08] — trickstersGhost [TG] began trolling taxadermicGadabout [TG] at 12:08 — [12:09] TG: that wasn’t even about you! [12:09] TG: why would you reblog from that!? you said you’d keep it a secret! [12:09] TG: youre still pussy footing around shit when i told you not to [12:09] TG: also a little hypocritical when you do the same thing every once in a while [12:10] TG:...
AM: I CARE ABOUT YOU. JUST...NOT LIKE THAT ANYMORE. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO THINK ABOUT HOW TO SAY IT WITHOUT HURTING YOU, OR DEBATING WHETHER OR NOT I SHOULD WAIT UNTIL THINGS WERE GOING BETTER FOR YOU.
TG: putting it off hurt more than saying it outright would have.
TG: making me hold on to a sliver of hope hurts far FAR more than ANYTHING you could have said sooner.
AM: I'M SORRY.
TG: are you?
AM: I WOULDN'T SAY IT IF I WEREN'T, JOHN.
TG: because you've been giving me the impression that i had a fucking chance this whole time.
TG: you've been saying 'i can't decide' 'i'm not in that place' 'i don't know' this whole time you've been gone and i've been decaying and i've been holding out hope for you because you've been dangling it in front of me.
TG: you don't fucking DO THAT to people karkat!
AM: DO YOU THINK I WANTED TO DO THAT?
AM: THIS WHOLE TIME I'VE BEEN WORRYING WHAT TAKING THAT AWAY WOULD DO TO YOU.
AM: I'VE BEEN WORRYING IF ME SAYING IT WOULD END WITH YOU DECIDING 'FUCK ALL THIS' AND SPIRALING OFF EVEN MORE.
AM: I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THAT TO YOU.
TG: i'm not that kind of person anymore.
TG: i gave up already and i decided i'd never take the easy way out again and you, as a friend, should have had more confidence in me than that.
AM: HOW LONG AFTER YOU TOLD ME THAT I'M ALL YOU HAVE TO LIVE FOR SHOULD I HAVE STARTED BELIEVING YOU THOUGHT OTHERWISE?
TG: you're the reason i came back to life, yes, but you're NOT all i've got, and you haven't been.
TG: i have my solli. i have my promises to keep. lives i effect and impact. and i was depressed at the time!
AM: I'M GLAD YOU'VE PULLED OUT OF THAT SOME. I AM.
TG: once i had a job to do it was easy.
TG: karkat you should have trusted me.
TG: i deserved better than this. i deserved better than the anxiety of waiting.
TG: and guessing.
TG: and maybe i'm not the smartest most put together piece of shit in existence but damnit i have feelings and they matter.
AM: I DON'T KNOW WHAT I CAN DO BESIDES CONTINUE APOLOGIZING AND HOPING THAT THINGS GO WELL FOR YOU REGARDLESS.
TG: you did make a promise though.
TG: and i'm still going to hold you to it.
AM: I'M GOING TO COME BACK.
TG: karkat we're still friends right?
AM: YES. IF YOU STILL WANT ME AS THAT, EVEN.
TG: of course.
TG: this will
TG: hurt for a while but i wouldn't ever cut you out.
AM: YOU CAN COME TO ME FOR ANYTHING, BY THE WAY.
AM: IF I'M NOT HERE, MUNIN LIKES TO ANSWER THINGS.
AM: HE CAN GET MY ATTENTION IF YOU NEED ME.
AM: I SPEND MOST OF MY NIGHTS PRACTICING SICKLE FORMS OR DOING EXERCISES. OR PRACTICING SKILLS I'VE LEARNED.
TG: mine are spent working through school books or learning not to throw hammers at the walls in gusts of wind when i'm upset.
AM: I SHALL AGAIN SUGGEST TAI CHI.
TG: when my body isn't falling apart i'll try tai chi.
AM: IT'S A GOOD, SLOW FORM OF MARTIAL ARTS. GENERALLY DEFENSIVE.
AM: IT MIGHT HELP YOU KEEP CALM.
TG: like i said.
TG: i'll be better soon, though.
AM: THAT'LL BE A RELIEF.
AM: I DON'T LIKE THE IDEA OF YOU FALLING APART.
TG: with any luck sooner rather than later.
AM: I HOPE IT DOES HAPPEN SOON.
TG: believe me so do i.
TG: there's a hurdle to jump yet, but
TG: hopefully it won't be a big one.
-- trickstersGhost [TG] began trolling antagonizedMismanager [AM] at 03: 24 --
TG: who's there?
TG: why are you screeching?
AM: WE HAD ROSE AND VIK AND OSKAR COME OVER FOR A MOVIE AND THEY BROUGHT DAVE WITH THEM.
AM: ALSO GAMZEE'S ASLEEP IN THE DEN.
AM: HE THREATENED TO PUNCH MERC.
TG: hah hah
AM: MERC BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM.
AM: I'M GOING TO STOP DOING THAT.
AM: EVERYBODY'S STAYING A FEW NIGHTS.
TG: stop doing what?
TG: and oh. awesome.
TG: i'm glad you're having fun.
AM: I'M GOING TO STOP TELLING HIM I'M GOING TO PUNCH HIM.
TG: yeah probably a good idea.
AM: I DON'T WANT TO HAVE HIM SMACK THE SHIT OUT OF ME.
TG: hey guess what.
AM: AND YEAH, I'VE BEEN DOING MOSTLY EXERCISING AND PRACTICING THE LAST FEW WEEKS, SO A MOVIE IS A NICE BREAK.
AM: WHAT'S UP?
TG: i held down food today.
AM: I'M GLAD YOU MANAGED THAT.
TG: i think if i keep having days like this i might make it to a final solution. :D
TG: i woke up this afternoon and i was terrified but i calmed down since then.
TG: and after i calmed down food stayed down.
TG: so there's that.
AM: I'M VERY GLAD.
TG: me too.
AM: MERC IS TRYING TO GET ME TO FIGHT HIM.
AM: HELP ME.
TG: i'm not there. i can do nothing for you.
TG: worse i got tangled in my hood and i can't get back out.
AM: CHANGE OUTFITS.
TG: oh right wardrobifier.
TG: seriously though, i can't help you.
TG: i can only chinhands at you from my side of the internet.
TG: don't you screech at me.
-- trickstersGhost [TG] changed their mood to ACCEPTANT ￼ --
TG: chinhandsing at you isn't worthy of screeches.
TG: loudest groan eyeroll combo ever.
AM: YOUR FACE IS A BAD METAPHOR.
TG: fuck you i'm pretty.
AM: OF COURSE YOU ARE.
TG: why are you screeching at me?
AM: IT AMUSES ME.
TG: you're a strange bird.
AM: AND YOU SIR ARE A NERD.
TG: i fart in your general direction.
-- antagonizedMismanager [AM] blocked trickstersGhost [TG] at 04: 07 --
-- antagonizedMismanager [AM] mercifully forgave trickstersGhost [TG] at 04: 09 --
AM: I FORGOT HOW TO UNBLOCK YOU FOR A MINUTE.
TG: slow claps.
AM: I COULD HAVE LEFT IT.
-- antagonizedMismanager [AM] blocked trickstersGhost [TG] at 04: 11 --
-- antagonizedMismanager [AM] mercifully forgave trickstersGhost [TG] at 04: 11 --
AM: I GOT IT NOW.
AM: AM I WINNING YET.
-- antagonizedMismanager [AM] blocked trickstersGhost [TG] at 04: 12 --
-- antagonizedMismanager [AM] mercifully forgave trickstersGhost [TG] at 04: 12 --
TG: karkat that's not the least bit amusing to me.
AM: I LIKE IT.
TG: of course.
AM: I FORGIVE YOU FOR YOUR SHORTCOMINGS AND CONTINUE TO GRACE YOU WITH MY PRESENCE.
AM: I AM THE CRAB EMPEROR.
AM: I'M GONNA TOUCH THE BUTT.
AM: I'M GONNA DO IT.
AM: I DID IT.
AM: I TOUCHED THE BUTT.
TG: that's great.
-- trickstersGhost [TG] changed their mood to DISCONTENT ￼ --
AM: WHAT HAPPENED.
TG: i had a mood shift.
TG: because i got to thinking about my situation again and it made me upset.
AM: I WANT TO PLAY THE HUMAN GAME STARCRAFT.
TG: because i feel trapped by a decision i made months ago.
AM: I UNDERSTAND THAT FEELING.
TG: i doubt your decisions were ever as poorly thought out as mine.
AM: PROBABLY NOT. BUT SOME OF MINE HAVE BEEN PRETTY BAD.
TG: because of a decision i made when i was close to coming down with a miserable as fuck FLU, and because i wanted to have less of an age gap with the person i was with, i took a bargain that essentially wiped out my body's ability to care for itself independently.
AM: OKAY YEAH.
AM: YOU WIN.
AM: YOU ARE THE WORST DECISION MAKER.
TG: and then someone who's already been nothing but kind to me, decides to pick up this burden too.
TG: yeah. i really am.
AM: YOU'RE GOING TO NEED TO LEARN WHAT I DID.
AM: STOP AND THINK ABOUT SHIT BEFORE YOU MAKE DECISIONS.
TG: yeah, i'm learning that.
TG: because so far i've rushed in to everything i've ever done and wound up exploding it in my own face.
AM: LOOK AT POSSIBLE POINTS OF FALLOUT. LOOK AT WHO IT WILL EFFECT AND TRY TO THINK ON HOW THEY'LL REACT.
TG: i know.
TG: this, my love, is what caused my mood shift.
AM: DO YOU WANT A PHOTO OF DAVE USING ME AS A PILLOW.
AM: HE'S DROOLING ON ME.
AM: IT'S ADORABLE.
TG: that's nice.
TG: you realize that just because someone's stepped in to fill the empty slot and save my ass doesn't change my feelings in the slightest, yeah?
TG: the people i love and the ways i love them haven't changed because a mage chose to don some armor and sweep in to save yon fair heir from his own idiocy.
AM: I'M SORRY.
AM: THE MORE I THINK ON THINGS...THE MORE THAT I REALIZE I DON'T FEEL LIKE I USED TO.
AM: ELABORATE HOW? THAT'S ABOUT AS BLATANT AS I CAN MANAGE AT THE MOMENT UNLESS YOU HAVE SOMETHING SPECIFIC YOU WANT TO ASK ABOUT.
TG: just say you don't love me anymore.
TG: get it overwith.
TG: don't make me sit a universe away waiting for something that isn't going to come.
CTG RIGHT NOW opened memo on board BOUNDARIES.
Memo is now Secret by CTG
Memo is now Invite-Only by CTG
CTG: gentlemen i think we need to talk.
CURRENT antagonizedMismanager [CAM] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAM: >Oh dear.
CURRENT taxadermicGadabout [CTG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CTG: wh okay
CTG: im ready for talking
CTG: good. good.
CAM: Talking good.
CTG: >Thumbs up?
CTG: today we're going to be talking about boundaries. you know that conversation you had me have with dan way back last month?
CAM: Dan was his moirail.
CTG: the moirail who had flushed feelings.
CTG: yeah and
CTG: then exploded.
CTG: i dont know what that has to do with me
CTG: what's this.[→gestures between them.] what are you two doing here?
CAM: I...actually dunno.
CTG: what does it look like
CTG: well it doesn't look **GOOD** dave.
CTG: it also doesn't SMELL right and i'm trying VERY hard not to break something.
CTG: >???????????????????????/ o k a y ?
CAM: ...I might have been scentmarking earlier.
CTG: yeah. might. just a bit.
CAM: Maybe a lot.
CTG: yeeeeeeeeah, that's one of those 'not ok' things.
CTG: you need to chill your jibblets
CAM: He actually has a point on that.
CTG: well im comfused so
CAM: Scentmarking is kind of. One of those things to tell other trolls to naff off.
CAM: ...I do it to him while he sleeps.
CTG: oh thats adorable
CTG: thats cute
CAM: I'm not cute.
CTG: yes, you are.
CTG: pfffttt okay
CTG: you guys aren't a quadrant. you're getting into an area where, i don't know about sollux, but i'm getting very frustrated.
CTG: and somewhat violent.
CTG: still say you need to calm your jibblts but whatever
CTG: there's someone that isn't me sleeping in my bed, making it smell wrong, wearing my mate's scent. it would make ANY troll verge on homocidal. if i didn't know you you'd probably already be attacked.
CTG: >Wow eyeroll./ chill out john
CTG: i'm pretty chilled out for being strung out so let's all just appreciate that i haven't killed anything today ok?
CAM: I'm not sure what exactly I feel when it comes to him at this point. And I appreciate that you haven't killed either of us.
CAM: That hare's another story, though.
CTG: >Sigh, get up, straighten clothes/ you know john youre over reacting but okay
CTG: overreacting TO YOU.
CTG: because theres nothing to overreact to
CTG: it's an entirely different story to someone who's picking up on scents and actions.
CTG: if i budied up to sollux the way you snuggle up to karkat, you'd probably be pretty pissed off too.
CTG: if i nuzzled and sprawled on dirk sparks wouldn't hesitate to escort me personaly to second death.
CAM: ...try asking Viktoras how this kind of thing goes over with trolls?
CTG: he has enough to worry about
CAM: I mean, I'm not helping the situation.
CTG: no, no you're not.
CTG: and to be honest i wouldnt care if you were buddy with sollux
CAM: ...sleeping with him?
CTG: let's try it this way:
CTG: shrugs i sleep over places
CTG: if i crawled into captors lap and started kissing him you'd knock me on my ass.
CTG: not sure how youd keep him from doing it though
CTG: dudes allergic to affection from others i swear
CTG: dave, the point is you're venturing far too close to flushed for me not to want to punch you and you've been vascilating so long it's getting very hard not to feel threatened, and feeling threatened makes a guy want to break something or someone.
CTG: not my fault you arent confident about your relationship
CTG: no, but you're certainly not helping.
CAM: I've kind of thought the same thing.
CTG: [→peers at karkat]
CAM: I don't...you know...mean to.
CTG: >Shrug./ you act like im sopposed to be embarrassed or that im trying to keep you away
CTG: not my fault youre scarce
CTG: choose your words, strider.
CTG: i chose them just fine
CAM: It's not John's fault.
CTG: i stepped back to let him train. i can't help with that. it's the only reason we're in different locations during the day.
CTG: the ONLY reason.
CTG: im not there during training time either cupcake
CAM: I have a lot of conflicting feelings going on when it comes to Dave.
CTG: you come into MY space sleep in MY bed, roll your scent in it so that i have to wash the sheets four times just to get to a good starting position and there t is again.
CTG: 'spend as much time as you can with karkat' merc says.
CTG: john youre being a dumbass im not pushing you away
CAM: It's not you pushing him away he's worried about.
CAM: It's me.
CTG: and then you're ALWAYS here. there's no time for 'alone with my mate'. do you know how HARD that is for me? going from spending nearly every second with him to barely getting five minutes alone?
CTG: he's always spending time with you. ALWAYS. if i want to spend time with him it feels like i have to MAKE AN APPOINTMENT anymore and i'm REALLY not ok with that.
CTG: yeah always here when im not stitching up oskar making sure vik is okay sollux hasnt killed himself vriska hasnt drunken herself dead training with oskar and then maybe even talking to soll or trying to catch up
CTG: always here
CTG: oh you're not going to get me to pity you.
CTG: im not trying to babe just stating how your argument is full of fucking holes
CAM: Okay, just. Stop.
CTG: [→Bared teeth, growl.]
CTG: john you arent going to scare me but i get when im not wanted
CAM: It's complicated, Dave.
CTG: thre is no complication hes complaining that he never gets time with you
CTG: its cool
CTG: ill leave
CTG: have fun
CAM: There is complication. On my end.
CAM: I have blatant flushed feelings for John. Both of you guys know that.
CTG: im not dealing with this you two can hash it out im not playing irl facade
CAM: I have lingering black feelings for you, random ass pale, flushed and regular 'friend' feelings mixed into it.
CAM: I don't fucking know what I'm doing at this point.
CTG: >Hufffffffffffff/ im leaving
CAM: That won't fix anything.
CTG: sort through that karkat because it's going to cause us **ALL** if you don't.
CTG: and dave, hit the showers. this isn't a 'john is an asshole' thing, this is an 'instincts are rising to a violent high and i might hurt you if you keep smelling like that in my space' thing. i'm being VERY good for how my mood is right now. with the stress of what's in our future, and the shit that's going on with sparks, i'm not at all in a very good place for a competition.
TG: attempting to talk sense into a bird is what my life has become.
TG: i mean hi.
TG: i pinned faust.
TG: and maybe cried on his head a little.
TG: way 2 go
TG: i might have stained his feathers.
TG: he's a dumb bird and he's going to get something killed i refuse to let that happen.
TG: brow raise
TG: im going to ask you a question and i dont mean anything but to be a bro by it
TG: are you sure that youre talking about the bird
TG: i'm sure i'm talking about the bird.
TG: i'm talking about the bird because i can't always protect him.
TG: i can't.
TG: he's so fucking disobedient and i have trouble just dream fighting.
TG: shrugs i dont know why mine do just fine
TG: i need him to protect karkat. i need him to listen.
TG: the others' are great.
TG: it's just faust.
TG: faust is a shit.
TG: okay and
TG: i love him but he doesn't listen and it could get karkat killed.
TG: so hes acting like a kid then
TG: he pecked the shit out of my arm. it's bleeding.
TG: you pinned him down i would have too
TG: hes an animal john not human
TG: or a troll
TG: they act different
TG: he communicates by text just fine. clearly he's smart enough to understand.
TG: and maybe i helped.
TG: i hope i helped.
TG: juse can type shit just fine but she doesnt get why i leave the hive to visit other people
TG: mako thought my horns and shoes were attacking me.
TG: okay so i mean you cant treat them the same john it wont work man
TG: i got frankie trained how she is because i trained her like a dog
TG: because thats pretty much what she is
TG: how do you even train a bird?
TG: look it up
TG: but i used positive shit
TG: like gave frankie treats for listening
TG: and then did nothing when she didnt
TG: i just...
TG: decided it was time to show faust who's boss an launched an attack he couldn't win.
TG: way to be an ass
TG: ... and then talked to him once he calmed down...
TG: and cried like a little kid on the first day of kindergarden.
TG: thats rough man
TG: i'm kind of still hanging on to him even though that arm hurts like hell... because i'm outside and i'm cold and i'm upset and he's really warm...
TG: he understands universal language well enough. i can talk to him and i think he'll get it. i hope he'll get it at least...
TG: it's kind of pathetic to sit here and cry on him but whatever...
TG: i'm in the barn...
TG: im not there anymore man i went to oskars to get on with training and riding a dragon
TG: go back inside
TG: wtf are you doing in the fucking barn john
TG: i chased him down and cornered him in here...
TG: ...then go inside...
TG: i'm going.
TG: not letting go of the bird though.
TG: hy were you chasing him again
TG: he stole the palmhusk and said it was his... then told me no when i told him it wasn't and i was going to take it from him because so fucking done playing games with a bird.
TG: his games are dangerous.
TG: his games will get my loved ones killed.
TG: john im going to be blunt here but not only him can get karkat killed
TG: a lot of people are
TG: nothing you can do about it but trust that karkat is going to be prepared for that
TG: and that
TG: the ones with him will keep him safe
TG: if faust shapes up that's one less thing i have to be afraid of though. one less 'what if'.
TG: i've been the cause of thousands of deaths. an entire doomed and dead timeline.
TG: yeah theres more what ifs you have to worry about than a damn chicken
TG: i can't protect karkat but faust might be able to.
TG: i know there's more.
TG: i just
TG: want less to be afraid of. just ONE less thing to be afraid of.
TG: would it be fair of me to trat you like faust because of what you did
TG: i'm TRYING.
TG: you say that john but like
TG: i cant get it out of my head
TG: youre my what if
TG: i can't get it out of mine, either.
TG: and i already know i'm capable of causing a lot of death. i look at what i've already done, recently and in my own timeline and i
TG: you what
TG: i caused thousands of deaths at least, three near misses.
TG: i exploded dan.
TG: i did that.
TG: john thats a load of bs
TG: did you strap c4 to him
TG: and detonate
TG: you dont' understand. it's game crap.
TG: then if its the shitty game crap how its your fault
TG: i caused the emotion that caused him to explode.
TG: john your blame is misplaced and backwards as shit
TG: i destroy without meaning to.
TG: what are you expecting me to say here
TG: 'oh no poor john'
TG: im not
TG: i don't want that.
TG: and reason is that you are doing ot to yourself
TG: youre saying its your fault and thinking it
TG: because it may as well be!
TG: john youre being a dumb ass
TG: i'm afraid ok?
TG: what if something i do or say gets karkat dead?
TG: and you dont think i am
TG: you already screwed up
TG: you already told the wrong people
TG: the way it almost killed the dads.
TG: i know i screwed up!
TG: what did you learn
TG: thats the important shit
TG: fucking keep my mouth shut.
TG: don't talk to anyone.
TG: then its done
TG: its over
TG: in the past
TG: forget about it
TG: what else could you do to get them killed then
TG: i don't know.
TG: then stop worrying about it
TG: i don't know and that's what scares me.
TG: oh my god john
TG: youre becoming infuriating
TG: i'm sorry.
TG: im not accepting an empty apology
TG: i stopped doing it when bro left the second time
TG: i'm not giving you an empty apology. i'm really sorry. i don't mean to make you upset or angry.
TG: what are you going to change
TG: i'm going to try not to worry so much and keep working and keep my mouth shut.
TG: when i see that youll know when i accepted your apology
TG: on another note but in the same subject of getting your shit together
TG: karkat told me what happened
TG: with you and that other one
TG: i figured when you were over here the other night in the blanket nest.
TG: john i dont kare who insults karkat
TG: even if its vik
TG: i stick up for that kid
TG: yeah. i get it. i fuckedup again.
TG: its really thrown him off
TG: and its more that you didnt take him seriously than anything
TG: i know. i know and i don't know how to fix it.
TG: you cant
TG: its in the past
TG: you cant fix everything just learn from it
TG: tell the little shit that talked about him that it wasnt his place
TG: im not here to clean up your messes that is not my job
TG: i know.
TG: you'd be a good moirail for him did you know that?
TG: for who
TG: im pretty sure its a troll thing for trolls like a scent thing
TG: or feeling shit i dont know
TG: not really. i was a moirail when i was human.
TG: if it wasn't for my glitch i'd still be his moirail.
TG: humans can make good moirails. it's a challenge but they can be moirails just fine.
TG: of course it depends on the troll and the human.
TG: i was a moirail for months and months there wasnt a pull for him
TG: i think
TG: trolls can suck at moirailiegence too, bro.
TG: takes two to form a healthy, balanced relationship.
TG: vantas said i had the willingness and potential but i dont know
TG: i know that john thanks
TG: i think you have potential. i know a good dynamic when i see it.
TG: i want you two to be happy you're two of my favorite people in existence.
TG: yeah i just broke up with tav im not ready to just jump into shit and karkat and i just broke up so
TG: im stepping back
TG: don't step back too far. he needs someone. not just me.
TG: nah im not going to abandon the ass nugget
TG: and don't call him that. please.
TG: or gremlin.
TG: hnngh brb i have to wrap this arm this is ridiculous.
TG: idk why you didnt do that right away
TG: i don't think linearly or rationally when i'm upset.
TG: reasons why i died.
[06:54] — trickstersGhost [TG] began trolling calodemonGelastic [CG] at 18:54 — [06:54] TG: i made cheesy pasta. [06:54] CG: MMM. [06:54] TG: it’s a kind both sparks and marbles like. [06:54] CG: HEH. [06:54] TG: i’m not at home to supervise and there’s a high chance marbles isn’t going to listen to me and send half to sparks. [06:55] CG: I’M FEEDING...
in progress log
CTG RIGHT NOW opened memo on board STUPIDBLOCKPUZZLES. CURRENT _ [C_] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. Once upon a time, there was a Land composed almost entirely of sandbars, pleasantly shady beaches, and sort of scrubby, marginal underbrush. This particular stretch of it happened to have a half-dozen obvious engraved sandstone slabs scattered around it, along with an equal number of stone marbles...
in progress log
Once upon a time, there was a Land composed almost entirely of sandbars, pleasantly shady beaches, and sort of scrubby, marginal underbrush. This particular stretch of it happened to have a half-dozen obvious engraved sandstone slabs scattered around it, along with an equal number of stone marbles that go up to about waist high. There are also a largish number of small craters and drag marks, as...
AM: JOHN TG: karkat TG: they’re right. this is my fault. and you’ve been working so much harder for so much longer to get to join them and… AM: HEY. TG: if they find me to be too much of a liability you keep working okay? AM: WHAT? TG: i don’t want to be the reason you don’t go. you’ve been working on it since before i came into the picture. AM: WHAT DO...
— mercurialMartinet [MM] began trolling trickstersGhost [TG] at 16:27 — MM: you. TG: me. MM: how goes. TG: upsettingly. MM: reason? TG: sparks put the patch in dan’s code. MM: and? TG: dan fell asleep afterward but hasn’t woken up and it’s been two days. MM: keep him alive. MM: be patient. TG: patient is hard. TG: his code was ugly and broken. TG: he was...
— mercurialMartinet [MM] began pestering trickstersGhost [TG] at 03:21 — MM: it’s so fucking hard to type in this shitty crevice. TG: hi MM: hello to you too. TG: you guys left. without saying anything. MM: and. TG: i was upset. MM: terribly sorry, i’ll write a note in the sky for you next time. TG: it’s not funny it’s a big deal to me ok?? MM: why. ...
[12:10] — trickstersGhost [TG] began pestering mercurialMartinet [MM] at 00:10 — [12:10] TG: sorry. i forgot to do this earlier, i was in a hurry. [12:11] TG: i’m out of the house for the night. kankri needed company. [12:11] MM: revolting. [12:11] TG: his pale crush died last night. he wanted someone to sit with him while he burried her. [12:12] MM: shit happens. [12:12]...
[01:23] — coagulationCascade [CC] began pestering trickstersGhost [TG] at 01:23 — [01:23] CC: I have no idea what is going on right now, but Merc has asked me to…tell you to forget the conversation ever happened? His blood is up, I think. [01:24] TG: ii’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry...